Hank
Posts: 1
|
 |
« Reply #15 on: October 13, 2008, 12:45:33 AM » |
|
This is difficult for you. Smoking is socially acceptable. Divorce is serious business.I agree with you. You must give your husband an ultimatum. Put the ball in his court. Let him decide between a loving wife or nicotine.Be prepared to have your bluff called. He will go to extremes to smoke.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Icelady49
Posts: 1
|
|
« Reply #16 on: October 13, 2008, 01:10:35 AM » |
|
NOT all people died from smoking.. yes many do but that is not the case with all smokers.. BUT its seems he knew when he married you that you were very much against smoking... Why he started must have really shocked you.. you have to convince him its YOU or the smoking... I would leave him and give him ((with out him knowing )) some time to see if he loves you enough to stop the smoking.. and if not you will just have to move on and find life and happiness some where else.. I hope for you and for his sake he does stop the smoking.. good luck to you
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
gma
Posts: 1
|
|
« Reply #17 on: October 13, 2008, 01:35:37 AM » |
|
I'm a smoker. I quit years ago an two weeks after my husband died I started again, that was ten years ago. As smokers we know all the bad stuff but that addiction is the hardest thing to break. We must have extra low will power because no one wants to smoke. But you can't badger us into it either. It's sick and good luck.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Crystal
Posts: 1
|
|
« Reply #18 on: October 13, 2008, 02:00:39 AM » |
|
Well i think ok maybe there is a chance of him dying and maybe he may live longer then you now you can divorce him and move on with your life or you can stay and deal with that one thing you do not like. See talk to him about it dont yell dont do anything to piss him off you will never get anywere like that. Explain to him you dislike it and it hurts you that he is doing it knowing your mom, and grandmother died because of it then also think of eveything he could say like well i might not die and you have to think of what you could say back like so were going to take that chance and besides that i dont like the smell its all over your clothes and all over your breath and its hard to get intamit with you. Then tell him i no it is gunna be hard to quit ebut can you atleast try and try really hard let him no it will mean alot to you. If he says no im not doing it then tell him well here is the deal if you keep smoking im leaving i dont like the smell its disgusting and i dont wanna have to go threw what i did with my mom and grandma.Now you need to think is SMOKING A BIG DEAL?  ?? Think of how you might do something that anoyes him or what is wrong with you. Now your husband does one thing you dont like and i bet you there is one thing that bothers him about you. Every one has flaws no one is perfect and if he didnt smoke then what would you find wrong with him? Now would you rather be there with him if something happened then not be there?? I no if my man got sick for any reason i would wanna be there for him. But that is up to you cant no one make that choice for you. Good luck |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Lee
Posts: 1
|
|
« Reply #19 on: October 13, 2008, 02:25:41 AM » |
|
It's like a dog - if everytime he pee's in the house you grab him and run his nose in it he'll pee secretely. If you take the dog out at regular invervals - he'll learn when he'll be going out to pee and hold it until then because you praise him so much when he does it outside. You don't take the dog to the shelter because he pees in the house! Why has your husband started smoking? Is stress at work too much for him? Are you stressing him? Is there something going on with his family? Have you talked to him about what's going on in his life? Start at the bottom and work your way up - suggest something you two can do together that he would enjoy - jog, work out, play in the park - something that he can do when he has a stressful day (but can't do well if his lungs don't work) and do it with him! Don't berate him for smoking, don't even tell him this is your way of helping him quit - but be generally concerned for his well being. Overtime I hope this will help him cut back, and eventually quit. You two might also learn that you can do something fun together - like go caving and develop a new passion! It wont happen over night. He's your husband - divorce should be like bankruptcy - a LAST RESORT. I hate how some people make it sound like if you don't like somethign about your husband divorce him... the grass is not always greener. He could have some other addiction - like porn, or alcholol or something equally as destructive to you both... and hey I hate to say this, but he could die of a pancreatic tumor and you would watch him anyway - his not smoking does not save you from having to "watch" him die! Enjoy everything you have together while you have it - life is too short, and you should know that with your family! God Bless!!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
FoxxxyGirrrl
Posts: 1
|
|
« Reply #20 on: October 13, 2008, 02:50:43 AM » |
|
I was with a man who started smoking in the middle of our relationship too, so I know what you mean about the gross smell and taste. I would have to ask him if he would rather have the cigarettes or you. It sounds like he's already made his decision so if you can't live with the cigarettes, maybe you're better off living without him. I dumped my ex-boyfriend for the same reason, and if my husband started smoking and refused to quit, I would leave him too. You shouldn't have to sit back and watch another person you love die because he didn't think you or your feelings were worthy of him quitting smoking.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Ann
Posts: 1
|
|
« Reply #21 on: October 13, 2008, 03:15:45 AM » |
|
Think of it this way, how would you feel when your marriage is all over? He is not coming home at night, he is not sleeping next to you and he is with someone else? Are you ready for that over smoking? Everyone has faults , some guys have way bigger faults than smoking and why not see someone 1st before ending your marriage. I love my husband, I would NEVER leave him and since you never know what the future holds why end it? Maybe it is the way you are presenting him quitting? Are you nagging him? How often does he even smoke? I have smokers in my family and have had. No one died from it. He could die in a accident, who knows what life holds? Remember your vows.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Glowwings
Posts: 1
|
|
« Reply #22 on: October 13, 2008, 03:40:47 AM » |
|
I smoke and my husband does not. I have smoked for forty-five years. It is killing me too and I know it. I have tried to quit for the last few years, and have not been successful thus far.My husband has never said a word to me about it, yet I know he knows, it is weighing me down.If you want someone to quit anything, nagging him only makes it worse. If this is something that bothers you this much, there is something more underlying here, that you are not seeing. If you love this man you will find a way to deal with it. Ask him to smoke outside, away from you. This is common courtesy that even I extend to my family.You are not going to make him quit. It seems that you have other extenuating circumstances that you need to discuss with your husband, at length. This is just another one to add to the pile.If you continue at this rate, you will be divorced, and it will be a bitter one! "Talk to him!"
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Fajr
Posts: 1
|
|
« Reply #23 on: October 13, 2008, 04:05:49 AM » |
|
You don't love him enough , if you really love him you wouldn't think to divorce him for such a thing . You might die before him , he might be the one watch you dying . Tell him to quit if he couldn't then live with it , yes , there are so many bad things in men worse than being JUST a smoker !!Keep the divorce for better reasons than that .Telling him it is either me or the nicotine is humiliating , if I were a man I will divorce the woman for such a statement because it reflects how very narrow minded she is !
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
bela
Guest
|
I would suggest you to read this article "Why Ruin Your Married Life For A Cigarette?"
The author has explained each and everything that every married person must know to keep their relation.
|
|
|
|
« Last Edit: May 31, 2010, 05:26:16 PM by Ricky »
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
edwardvettori
Guest
|
Well i would suggest you to buy some smoking alternatives and ask him to try them... There are plenty of them and they do satisfy smokers addiction..
Cheers
Vettori
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
steve1975
Newbie
Posts: 2
|
|
« Reply #26 on: March 13, 2011, 05:08:23 AM » |
|
i disagree with what angelina said. divorce is not an option. instead why don't you tell him what the consequences would be if he continue smoking. or why not offer him an Electronic Cigarettes for alternative. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
