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Author Topic: Joke thread  (Read 354 times)
BoneVapes
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« on: December 10, 2011, 12:09:59 PM »

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub together. They each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they are about to enjoy their creamy beverages, a fly lands in each of their pints and gets stuck in the frothy head.
The Englishman pushes his beer away in disgust.
The Scotsman fishes the fly out and continues drinking as if nothing happened.
The Irishman also picks the fly out of his drink, but then holds it out over the beer and yells, "Spit it out! Spit it out, you little bastard!"
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BoneVapes
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« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2011, 01:49:49 PM »

Polite way to pee---

During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"


Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.

What about you Peter, how would you say it?"
Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"
"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."
The teacher fainted
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BoneVapes
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« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2011, 02:14:46 PM »

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks, cleans & has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust & doesn't lie.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed & likes being with you.






5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other
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Bob.C
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« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2011, 02:01:37 AM »

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's so much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ... so does she.
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rickjd
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« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2012, 10:22:28 PM »

Last night I lay in my bed looking at
the beautiful stars...
the moon...
and the sky...
Then I thought... where the heck is my roof?
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electroniccigaretteguy
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« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2012, 11:03:12 AM »

My wife's cooking.


the end.
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